It's Officially Springtime in Dear Farmer's World

It's not the calendar that says when spring officially arrives, it's nature.  When the pasture starts to green and the air begins to smell of sweet warmth and the farmers are all out driving around and looking at each-others' farms.
So, yesterday, under the guise of needing to pick up fence posts at the most local supply store(which is forty-five minutes away), Dear Farmer went out and about.
The route he took was the most out of the way...
but past every farm that he knew of where there would be cattle and where they grow hay.
"Look there", he would say, "They still have a lot of hay left on the ground."
"OOOoooh, the barn roof didn't handle that last snow."
"I have always loved his location."
All the comments, the drive through the countryside, the beautiful sunshine after the gray of winter....it was a wonderful day.
And the trip that was supposed to take forty-five minutes...took an hour and a half.
Spring has officially arrived.

Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, and a Birthday, oh my!

We have been absent for a little while, but for good reason...we were off celebrating the Amazing FarmWife's Birthday!!!
We had pre-arranged to meet cousins in Dixon and bring a celebration with us!  The choice for dinner was Ice-Cream Sundaes (make-your-own!).  And we thought that some birthday balloons would hit the spot!
Wouldn't Grandma have an amazing time?!
So, we packed people up, packed up food for (actual) meals, packed up children, drove to Illinois, stopped at the store to get toppings and miscellaneous needs(really, who doesn't NEED headphones?Which child left shoes back at home?), pick up the balloons, and deposit everyone and everything at Fabulous Aunt and Uncle's home.
A quick call to Uncle Photographer to arrange for a drop off for the Amazing FarmWife to attend her party, and we had the weekend in full swing!

Night one: play outside with the Reese's Pieces Cousins, welcome the Amazing FarmWife and Uncle Photographer, eat ice-cream sundaes, stay up late talking

Day two: play outside, eat an actual three meals, go to park, play outside, Welcome MorMor and the Amazing FarmWife, stay up late talking

Day three: good-bye to the three Reese's Pieces Cousins, play outside, welcome Uncle Yoga-Ranger, eat three actual meals, go to park, stay up late talking

Day four: go to church, have dinner with Dear Farmer's whole family, plus Uncle and Aunt Bike Doctor and Mac-Amazing, Uncle Yoga-Ranger, Uncle Photographer, Fabulous Aunt and Uncle, Twin-Cousin#1 and her cousinettes and the Amazing FarmWife.  Eventually Dear Farmer's entire family has to go home this afternoon...{sigh}

if you are reading and get the feeling that Fabulous Aunt and Uncle have a revolving door...you are correct. That is what happens when the family comes home, but ooooooooh, how much fun we all have!
After this weekend, it may take the Amazing FarmWife a little while to recuperate. She deserves a little rest.
Happy Birthday, Grandma!

This story is full of Bull

Dear Farmer had to take a bull to a friend for the summer.
The bull was not thrilled to take the ride, but the dog convinced him it would be better.
Dog yipping at his heels, he got in the trailer.
A long drive in nice weather.
The door was opened, the bull walked out, and everyone was happy ever after.

Around here, we spread bull around...but in the realistic sense.
So, here's the story:
The bull, Tuxedo, was purchased a few years ago from a dear friend, Ray-of-Sunshine.  Ever since Ray-of-Sunshine has said, "wow, I'd really love to have him back."
This year, Dear Farmer could make that happen.  So, Tux is spending the summer at Ray-of-Sunshine's farm.  Dear Farmer was so excited to be able to bless him.  The loading process was a little long.  Tux didn't really understand why he had to be going in the trailer...I'm sure he's realized that not all that go in the trailer come out.  So, Dear Farmer had to call the farm dog out to do her job, which she did great.  No one had to play dangerous games with a 1700lb bull...he ended up walking in(unhappy) into the trailer.  Six hours later, Tux was unloaded and Ray-of-Sunshine blessed us with beautiful handmade plaques out of barn-boards! They say, "Hope" "Love" and "Believe".  Then he made my favorite one: "Trust in God" ---that one's going on my tiny house!
So glad Tuxedo can reside there for a little while and everyone is safe!

Dear Farmer Places an Order Online

Dear Farmer is of the opinion that phones are for calling and talking to people...not texting, snap-chatting, insta-gram-ing, taking pictures, or reading on.
Dear Farmer likes to do business with a handshake...not bids, quotes or contracts.
Dear Farmer likes to buy things from a person...not the self-checkout, vending machine, or online.

These days aren't like the days when Dear Farmer was a boy.  Bread costs more than a nickle a loaf, gas costs more than ten cents a gallon, and there are some things you just order online.
"Back in my day..." Dear Farmer will begin a story, and the children groan.
"Pop! Get in the twenty-first century!", they say.  But that's not when Dear Farmer was born.
So, ordering online is a big "to-do" when Dear Farmer has to do it.  He only orders from companies that he's dealt with in the past...ones that have people on the other end.  Then spends hours "one-touch" typing in the desired items. It's so painful, none of us can watch him anymore.  He has to do it himself!
Then, after hours and hours of filling a cart....he calls in the Wife to checkout....
He has learned that the quick typing and quick clicking is un-nerving...so he usually tries to leave the room when it comes to checking out.  There are some times he has to be present for the orders because they need special instructions...he's usually found rubbing his head for the headache that comes on afterward.

No, these aren't the days that Dear Farmer grew up in.
It only takes two days to get something from an online order, he doesn't pay extra, and we don't have to wait at the mailbox for the delivery.
Pictures of animals are sent instantly from farmer to farmer with questions, concerns, or for sale.
Decisions take seconds, not weeks.
Modern machinery can do the work of three-hundred horses.
His tractor can do 45 mph on the road!

"Those Good Old Days", we remind Dear Farmer, "you still get to live.  You walk among your herd, hear the softness of the hay being munched during feeding, touch the tops of the grass as it begins to seed-head. You work in the beauty of creation every day! One afternoon ordering an automatic chicken door that's timed to close at night and open at the break of day(so that none of us have to do it)...that's really not that bad!"

Farmhouse Kite Instructions

On a blustery day this is how we entertain ourselves. (Don't forget to sing the song from "Mary Poppins"...let's go fly a kite!)

Supplies:
1 plastic shopping bag
1 length of yarn or string

Instructions:

1. Tie the length of yarn or string to the two handles of the bag.  They do not need to be tightly tied, a loose loop will work just fine.
2. Hold the end of your length of yarn or string at the opposite end of the handles.
3. Go outside into the wind and run.
4. See your "kite" blow up full of air.
5. If it is a very windy day, you can stand in one place while your "kite" flies in front of you.
6. Encourage children to run against the wind for a long time.
7. For extra fun, let go of the "kite" and see how far the wind takes it.  Then go and retrieve it.
8. Remember to discard the "kite" into the trash can when you are done.  Cows will die if they eat plastic shopping bags.

CHICKENS! It's what brings Fathers and Sons together?

CHICKENS! It's what we're doing on the farm right now...preparation, anticipation, building, and raising.
CHICKEN fencing, CHICKEN waters, CHICKEN feeders, CHICKEN brooders, CHICKEN houses, CHICKEN-egg washing, CHICKEN butcher dates, CHICKEN chicks, CHICKENS roosters, CHICKEN...CHICKEN...CHICKEN....
So it comes as no surprise to anyone around here when the current project is the CHICKEN house.

Dear Farmer and Honorable Son No.2 have been plugging away at the creation of the new CHICKEN house.  They had the spent one day grating and leveling the area where the house will go.  Now they are in the shop building the frame...because that's a good indoor activity during the cold rain.
Dear Farmer is loving getting to work with Honorable Son No.2.  The two are very alike in ability and practical thinking.  Honorable Son No.2 anticipates what is coming next, measures everything correctly, and laughs at the same jokes as Dear Farmer.

Dear Farmer came in from work...after day number two of working together...very happy!
Dear Farmer is anticipating the work taking half the time, and turning out to be correct from all angles in the end.  Those alone are reasons to be happy...but the best part is working, laughing, and spending time with his son.

And Honorable Son No.2 has found out...he really likes Dear Farmer too.

This proves two beautiful facts:

1. Neither Dear Farmer or Honorable Son No.2 are CHICKENS themselves.
2. Real men aren't CHICKENS about mending relationships.

Late-Night Hay Feeding

Dear Farmer was all in a tizzy...rain was coming!
 Lots of rain, over a relatively short time, makes the fields very sloppy for the tractor.
Sloppy for the Farmer.
Sloppy for the feeding process.
Dear Farmer HAD to get fifteen very large square bales out into the fields before the rain came and he would not be able to traverse the tractor-path due to rain.
Hooking up to the hay-forks and loading a helper(WhizBang!Farmer's Daughter) onto the tractor, out they went....two bales at a time...this means they would need to make ten trips to get the cows the needed fourteen bales of hay and three new-to-us feeders into the fields.
They started the process at four-thirty in the afternoon. Tractors don't move very fast.  The process of just picking up two bales can be time consuming.
By five the rain started coming. Little drops can feel really big when you're in an open cab riding in the open fields.
By five-thirty the temperatures started dropping. The two made a quick dash inside for winter coats and gear.  They were feeling the cold chill quick!
By six in the evening the wind kicked up. They were on trip six and just hoping to get in before...
By six-fifteen it was pretty dark.
By six-thirty it was dark and the family was sitting down to dinner...feeling a little bad that we were eating grilled pork chops(Dear Farmer's favorite meal) and he was still on a tractor working. DONE!  Now they just had to park the tractor back down at the machine shed and walk back home in the cold, dark, rain.
Dear Farmer and the WhizBang!Farmer's Daughter sat down to dinner.  We had the food warm, the woodstove hot, and the fellowship lively.
Dear Farmer won't be doing that one again soon.  He can sit back and enjoy the rain...

Burning Stumps

The Keeper of the Flame was less than thrilled when Dear Farmer told him it was nice weather to burn stumps.  Stump burning is endless days of watching the smoldering stump and raking out the old ash so it will keep burning. The object is to burn the stump gone.
The Keeper of the Flame, rather heartlessly, asked Dear Farmer when he should start.
He asked in front of the Nordic Ninja, who suddenly got very excited!
"Stump burning?!", the Nordic Ninja asked, "When are we stump burning?!" He was practically jumping up and down!  The Keeper of the Flame had no idea why the Nordic Ninja could be so excited???

What was so great about endless days of stump burning???

Then the Keeper of the Flame found out how the BIG BOYS burn stumps.
First they rip them out of the ground with a chain and a tractor.
Then they haul them all over to the pit in clearing of the edge of the field.
They douse the whole thing with a little "love", and throw in a match!
WHOOSH!

We have bonfire stump burning.

The Keeper of the Flame may never see stump burning in the same light again...all the more reason to grow up faster!
The Wife and littles supplied all the s'more fixings, and life is good!
The Keeper of the Flame is in love with the stump burning tonight.

The Family Question of the Night...the Wednesday Night Special

Dear Farmer was asked a question tonight at dinner..."Who has been the biggest influence in your life?"

He looked around the table.  The whole family was there.  Something that doesn't happen often enough anymore...
There was a time when it was just Dear Farmer and the Wife.  They dreamed about winning the lottery. Two people with a million dollars, they had it spent!  Alas, they never had a ticket, it was all just a dream.

Scrimping and saving.
Giving and living without.
Rejection of "wants and desires", but the joys of each need being filled.

Somehow, year by year, the most important thing became Family.  

Each set of eyes staring back at him were a monument to a time when he learned,
  a time when he sacrificed,
           a time when he overcame!

He was blessed by each one of those children countless times.
         More than they will ever know.
                  Not until they are parents, will they understand....it was worth it all!

He'd do it all again...the scrimping and saving,
                                                    the giving,
                                               the living without,
                     the never-having-it-all, but the just-having-enough...
                                                                                        he'd do it all again in a heartbeat!

Dear Farmer's answer was perfect..."Your Mother.  Without her, none of you would be here."


I Love this Farmer!!!

Buying Fencing...or...The Reason Dear Farmer Takes His Wife Shopping

So off to the local farm supply store Dear Farmer and the Wife go!  It's date-night!

On the list: goat oats, new collar for polar bear(she's chewed off the other), and...fencing.

About three seconds outside the store the Wife realizes...she forgot her phone at home.

"Ugh!", says Dear Farmer, "Why do you even HAVE a phone?!"(This is a mute argument, everyone knows Wives have phones so they can leave them where they are not.)

The Wife says to Dear Farmer, "Don't worry.  I'm a big girl! I can handle the farm supply store.  I'll get what I need for the goats and the polar bear and I'll meet you in the fencing supply."

And so off they separate.

Dear Farmer goes off to the fencing supply.

The Wife detours to the kitchen gadgets, then rounds the corner to the canning supplies, over to the shoes...boots...children's boots...looks for all the sizes for the children who are needing shoes, realizes the boots cost more than she is willing to spend...over to the clearance racks for clothing..., down past the baby clothes(that are so darn cute!  do we know anyone that is having a baby???), through all the garden supplies, checking out the seeds, meanders through the paint department(to grab some colors that she'll never get to paint, but wouldn't it be nice to dream), through the hunting section, over to the bikes, and the books, and the dog toys....picks up the collar for the polar bear, picks up the goats oats, and turns to the fencing...
where she finds Dear Farmer.

It's been an hour.

 Dear Farmer is staring at a computer screen.
This is where he's to order the fence.
There's no one around to help him work the computer.
 He looks at the Wife and growls, "I hate technology!  I've been messing with this screen and I can't get it to the stuff I want!"

The Wife has two choices: Do it herself or find an associate.
She opts for the associate.
Over one aisle she finds an associate and explains a farmer needs his help.
 He doesn't look surprised.

Dear Farmer tells the associate what he needs.  The associate finds it, makes the screen work just fine, asks Dear Farmer if there is anything else he can help him with, and prints out the needed papers for the check out.  Dear Farmer laughs with the associate about the "good ol' days" when a person spoke to another person and they handed them what they needed.  The associate smiles and nods, then walks away...Dear Farmer figures the associate must be about twelve, "Had no idea what I was talking about.", he says.

Dear Farmer and the Wife go to the check out.

The cashier checks them out, she's about twelve as well.
They hand the cashier cash.
She looks at Dear Farmer almost sympathetically as she asks if he would like to open a credit card with the store.
Dear Farmer replies a solid, "No."
The cashier has to inspect the bills, draw on them with a marker, and then the computer tells her exactly what change to hand back.
She didn't have to do any math.

Dear Farmer and the Wife drive away with everything on the list.  Most importantly the fencing...

On the way home the conversation is about how young everyone in looks these days, and how young the police officers are(do their mothers know they carry guns?!).  They laugh about the not having to do math, and the credit card offers.  They giggle about the computers that aren't Dear Farmer's friends.

It's the fun of the evening...it's the lighter side of a boring activity...it's life...Dear Farmer's life.

Waiting for the Rain

Every day, without fail, Dear Farmer is checking the weather. Using his instinct as a farmer, his skills as an untrained meteorological professional, and the ache in his sinus cavity: he interprets the various websites that predict weather, reads the forecast in the farmer's almanac, and watches the animals.

The old-saying is true...cows will lay down when it's going to rain.
The cows feel the change in the pressure system, and when it gets too heavy, they lay down(probably because of the throbbing headache...have you seen the size of a cows sinus cavity?).  So usually we see the cows lay down, and then they get up-move to high ground, and the rain starts.

The goats will smell the rain coming and run inside the barn.  Goats hate to get wet.

Our farm dogs will beg to come inside.  They are wimps when it comes to rain.  One of our dogs will hide in the hallway...the sound of the rain on the metal roof scares her.

Dear Farmer hasn't started to ache in a joint or "feel it in his bones"...but he does get it right more often than the weatherman.

Dear Farmer is Inside Too Long

The snow returned for it's last few appearances before spring.  It throws the whole family into a "tizzy".  First of all, we can no longer find half the gloves.  Secondly, no one is really excited about playing in the white stuff AGAIN.  Lastly, Dear Farmer is anxious to get on with spring preparations, and it places everything he wants to do on 'HOLD'.
When Dear Farmer has to 'hold' for the snow to melt away, it usually means he has to do paperwork.  Because he's done everything else there could possibly be to do.
And Dear Farmer would rather not do paperwork.  Ever.
On days when paperwork is inevitable morning chores takes a lot longer. And then Dear Farmer
d-r-a-g-s himself inside.
Dear Farmer drinks about two pots of coffee.
Snuggles the littles.
Gets the biggers moving.
Eats breakfast.
Fiddles with the woodstove.
Makes several laps through the house commenting of the deplorable amount of stuff this family has.
And finally makes it into his office to sit down and do paperwork.
Then he spends hours as a caged animal in the office.
We hear thumping and grumping, the occasional bark.
By the fifth time that he's asked "When's lunch?" and it's only ten o'clock in the morning...we know it's going to be a long day.
So, here is the conclusion we have drawn: Dear Farmer doesn't like paperwork.  We had a pretty good idea before, but now we are sure.
Also, Dear Farmer needs to be outside where there are no walls, the scenery is constantly changing, and the jobs are endless(unless there's snow and ice mix with windchill temperatures in the single digits or lower).
We are all anxious for the spring-like weather to reappear, so that Dear Farmer can go about being the happy farmer we prefer.

Scrubbing Out the Muck Boots

When was the last time you had on your "to do" list...scrub out children's muck boots. ????
It ended up on the top of my list today.  I'm not exactly sure how that happened, I was doing a pretty good job of making sure that there were more important things to do all the time.
But I had it there...and the children saw it...and they expected me to do it....ugh.  Thankfully it was a nice day...
The Wife dug in.  The children were no where to be found.  It was nasty! Inside the boots were muck, mud, leaves, twigs, bugs, and I think I saw a frog-leg...
But now they are clean! Well...one pair is clean.  Four more pairs to go.
There will be a lecture soon: What Muck Boots Are For
One would think it would be a "no-brainer"...well, apparently not for my children...