The Attack of the Sludge Monster!

The Pied Piper isn't the only one who has been battling the "SLUDGE MONSTER" (yes, the sludge has grown)...now it's Dear Farmer's turn.  Here's the story:
So Dear Farmer goes out to do chores and hears the cows bellerin' a storm.  Not really thinking too much of it, and writing off most of the noise to "them hormonal females" he feeds hay and feeds chickens, waters chickens, pets the dogs and trudges through the barnyard to turn off the hydrants for the stock-tanks.  There, near the stock tank, was a yearling bull-calf, stuck in the sludge.  Now, Dear Farmer was walking out to the stuck bull-calf when he realized two things.  One: The cows are all bellerin' looking right at him from on top the hill.  And two: Dear Farmer was sinking as he was walking, getting stuck in the sludge...the sludge was eating him!
Dear Farmer had heard of the Pied Piper and Wife's experience in the sludge, but had written it off to "that boy!".  Dear Farmer didn't realize that there was a real problem going on, the sludge had grown into a full Monster!!!  The river of sludge now encompassed the entire back of the barnyard, through the gate leading to the pasture and around the stock-tank.
The cows, however, realized full well that the low-ground where the stock-tank is wasn't safe.  Though I am sure they lectured that bull-calf, he thought he knew better, and they all watched the bull-calf getting stuck and stuck-er.  All the bellerin' was the cows just being mothers and telling that bull-calf, "You wouldn't be in this mess if you had listened to me!" and then the bellerin' was to Dear Farmer warning him of the danger.
Dear Farmer was stuck pretty well in that sludge, and pretty coated while he dislodged the bull-calf(who was very grateful he was getting saved). As he maneuvered out of the sludge he had plenty of time to look up at those cows on higher ground.  Dear Farmer formulated a plan.  If anyone is going to survive this crazy winter of non-frozen ground, drastic measures were going to be taken....Dear Farmer exited the barnyard and returned...armed with a chainsaw and wire cutters.  He walked the high ground right in the midst of those cows and fired up the chainsaw.  Then he cut away his beautiful oak fence that separated the barnyard from the pasture.  The cows were so happy to not have to stay in the barnyard anymore and happily trotted out the high ground to the pasture.
This story is a love story...Dear Farmer will rescue the helpless from the Sludge Monster!  He loves those cows so much he'll cut away a wooden fence that had blood, sweat and tears poured into it!
This story is a cautionary tale...do not build a barn in the low-lands.  Always build on high ground.
This story is vindication...the Pied Piper and the Wife did not do anything wrong in dealing with the Sludge Monster, it is a monster that even Dear Farmer has had to do battle with.   Beware of the Attack of the Sludge Monster!!!

The Snow, the Skis, and the Farmboy Trio

We finally have snow that is staying on the ground!  This can only mean one thing at our farm-it's time for winter activities to begin!
The favorite activity this year appears to be cross country skiing.  The Keeper of the Flame (oldest of the Farmboy Trio) is finally big enough to wear the boots and actually move the skis where he desires to go.
He's been waiting a long time (2 years), because the boots we have are the Wife's and she wears a woman's size 7...as the Keeper of the Flame is shorter than the Wife, it was a wait he did not know if he was going to endure alive.  Who cares about being taller than your mother? The Keeper of the Flame wants his feet to fit into her ski boots!
This new freedom he has comes with strings...he has to share the skis with the Wife(who actually owns them, so she gets first dibs) and all the Older Farmer's Daughters.  But wait!  There's more...
The Pied Piper wants to ski also.  Because "anything that the big brother can do, I should get to do too", is the Pied Piper's frame of thought.  The Pied Piper didn't want to believe the Wife when she said his feet weren't big enough for the boots, or that the skis were too big and he was too small, or that he had to wait a couple more years to grow a little older....these were all mute points.
So no less than three times in the day, the Wife has rescued the Pied Piper from death in cross country ski-related activity.  First he was well stuck on the ground with skis all discombooblated and poles sticking and pointing in dangerous positions.  Then he was precariously balanced betwixt tree and poles with skis dangling in the air(note: skis do not make you fly).  The Wife's all time favorite was the "hill" he created down the slide and was attempting to ski down it (the skis are almost longer than the slide).
The Wife introduced snow shoeing(we have a pair for every family member), skating (a black pair fit him perfectly), but who cares about all of those?  The Pied Piper was born to cross country ski!
Don't forget about the Keeper of the Flame, however.  He has been patiently waiting for this moment to come in his life, he gets dibs before his disobedient brother!  So upon waking every morning, in order to assure that the Keeper of the Flame gets the skis, he is the first one up and dressed with chores done and he's out the door and on the skis, blissfully enjoying the serenity of a crisp winter morning on the farm...cross country skiing.

Dear Farmer is "Old Fashioned"

I know that title surprises you, doesn't it?!
Dear Farmer spent the day battling the weather.  Freezing snow and rain mix pelted him all day.  Add to that the loveliness of high winds and biting cold, it was perfect winter weather for the North.  That is what Dear Farmer worked in all day.  Walking back and forth between hay feeders, with hay and without hay to get more hay. Opening and closing hydrants for water tanks.  Carrying feed buckets for the chickens, watering the chickens, gathering eggs, building pens for the goats and "polar bear"-puppy in the barn, so they were sheltered from the weather, and chasing calves (who were jumping through the feeders) back into the barnyard.  That was all Dear Farmer did, all day, twelve hours.
Now when Dear Farmer walked in the door to the house(frozen) he relaxed in the warm room next to the woodstove...and picked up a book.  Totally oblivious to the bug-eyed teenage Farmer's Daughters sitting on the couches in the room.  The girls had a crazed look in their eyes.  The look that said, "I haven't talked to anyone but my family ALL DAY!"  There were dolls on the floor mixed with legos and pattern blocks, a nice array of board books and wood chips decorated the area directly where he sat thawing.  But he didn't notice.  Suddenly, as if the veil had been lifted from his face, he saw everything.  The Farmer's Daughters, the mess, the twitching eyebrow on the Wife's face.
"Eh?" , said Dear Farmer
He was answered (enthusiastically) by all the Farmer's Daughters all at once.  Though it sounded like dull humm of an outboard motor in water, there was one common thread he could understand from all the girls..."The storm has taken out the internet!"{GASP!}
What that means is on this particularly miserable day, while all the children had off school-work, they were cooped up inside and not one of them could stream a video, not one could text a friend, no one could check out the blogs, the news, or social media of any kind.  It had been a day where all they can do was read a book or talk to eachother.  They played games together, they painted eachother's nails, they drew pictures of animals, we had conversations.  It was a great day!  But quite frankly the Wife was ready to have everyone go to bed, her ears had begun to ring from so much interaction. (thus the twitching eyebrow).
But the internet being gone was no big deal for Dear Farmer.  He was glad it was gone...we had an old fashioned evening.  All was quiet, the Old Fashioned kind of quiet.

The "Dog-days" of Winter

I know that the "dog-days" are in summer!  I know all about the stars and WHY it's called the "dog-days" of summer...but on the farm we have experienced a new phenomenon.  Maybe you have as well...when it rains it pours...dogs.
The Hausfrau has for months been wanting to breed our farm dog (a purebred Aussie) and sell puppies.  Part for the money, part for the want of a puppy, part as insurance that when/if the farm dog dies...there's a replacement.  Searching for another purebred Aussie (unpapered) within the Wife's required hour travel radius has not been easy.  Search has been limited.
Meanwhile, the farm is purchasing a Great Pyrenees puppy to guard the meat chickens we produce in the summer...keeping the predator issues at a minimum would be maximum. The search for the farm (as the Wife is not the one driving) has been much expanded.
Wouldn't you know the two would be found within days of eachother?!  Isn't that just the way it works?
On one end of the farm we have housed in a chicken pen a "polar bear" puppy.  She's nine weeks old.  She's absolutely adorable and squeeze-ably soft. The Farmer's Daughter is in love.  She's announced she'll never get married or have children, just this one "polar bear".
On the other end of the farm we have crated in the house a "brown bear" puppy.  He's seven weeks old. He's absolutely fluff-ably soft and roly-poly cuteness.  The Hausfrau is in love.  She's announced she will have the cutest puppies ever and the best herding dog on the farm.
The farm dog we have has been the "Queen Bee" of the farm for five years.  She feels totally inundated with puppies from every angle.  Of course, the Hausfrau has plans that she will have her own litter of puppies... but to not have even been pregnant and all of the sudden have puppies...everywhere, puppies!!! She's a little discombobulated.  She feels as though the sky has been falling.  Or maybe...it's that the "Dog-days" of winter are here.

Our First Holiday Apart

 This year our family looks different.  There are members missing.  A couple passed away...and one left home.  Honorable Son #2 has moved away from home.
Thanksgiving was the first holiday ever he was not home.  It was the first holiday ever our family was missing a member.
There is something not complete about the family when it gathers and anyone is missing.  The table seems a little bigger...the people a little sad...and the mood a little dim.
Life in general is hard...especially for children.  Children...all of us were one, some of us still consider ourselves one. Children have it rough.
Poor children, when we first venture out, it all seems new and exciting.  Not even a thought is given to those we leave behind.  We forge our own adventures.  Make our own memories.  We are Grown Ups! Individuals!  Our own person!
The excitement is overwhelming sometimes.  It's not until we are old before we realize the gift we had in being children. Sometimes it's not until we are old that we realize the gift we had in family.

The Farmboy Trio and the Sludge!

Today was cold.  We've had unusually warm weather, but today was actually freezing.  The Farmboy Trio was intent that pond in the middle of the woods was probably frozen, and no one was going to persuade them any different.  So outside the Trio went!  {Ahh, the house was so quiet.}
About an hour later into the house burst the Keeper of the Flame(oldest of the Trio).
"Help! The Pied Piper is stuck in the sludge and we can't get him out!"
The Wife stopped making lunch and got on her "duds" to go on the rescue mission.  She found the Pied Piper stuck up to his knees in sludge.  Boots were totally unseen and boy was crying, "I'm stuck! I'm cold!"
{For the record: sludge in this case is made up of half mud and half cow manure.}
All the questions could be answered later, the sludge was acting like quick sand, the more he had struggled, the more stuck he was.  The Wife had on her "duds", but there was no amount of "dudding" that was going to rescue her from getting quite coated in sludge as well.  The Wife made her way out to the boy, leaned over, told the Pied Piper to hold onto the back of her coat, and plunged her hands into the ice-cold sludge to grab ahold of the boots below.  Foot number one came unstuck and the Wife lost her balance.  The Wife was now coated with sludge from the right hip down, both her hands to elbows, and in her hair.  This was not going to get any better, foot number two now had to be dislodged.  With the free-ing of the second foot the Wife picked up the crying Pied Piper and carried him out of the sludge.  With sludge dripping everywhere, the both of them made it inside.  All boots were dropped outside the door-the Keeper of the Flame hosed them all out and off.  Inside the house clothing was stripped off and went directly to the laundry to be hosed off and then washed.  Frozen hands and feet were thawed in water and then by the woodstove. Thankfully no one else followed the Pied Piper into the sludge!  For ONCE!  Thankfully it was just one boy the mother had to rescue and there were others to go run for help! That's why we go in "twos" everywhere on the farm.
And for the record, the pond was not frozen.

Country Hospitality: Example D

In Dear Farmer's world, when it comes to hospitality, you should be the first offering before it's asked.
So, before a neighbor asks you to watch his farm while he takes a day off, country hospitality dictates that you should anticipate the need and offer to watch the farm so he can take a day off.  Simple enough and incredibly difficult! Wouldn't you know, Dear Farmer is a professional at this one!
The family just spent the weekend at Fabulous Aunt and Uncle's home.  They were descended upon by oodles of family from the north, south, east, and west. It was wonderful, it was fun, it was a weekend of country hospitality.
While there, the Amazing FarmWife!(Grandma) exhibited this bit of hospitality when she called in the troops to set up for the retirement home's Christmas party, because she saw that the manager was dealing with another(more important) issue.  She organized and rallied all the Grandmas and Grandpas to take charge of the situation (unbeknownst to the manager).  Tables and chairs were moved, tableclothes on, place settings set and centerpieces placed.  She saw a need, and she jumped into action...Country Hospitality at it's finest even in a retirement home.
Fabulous Aunt and Uncle opened the doors of the house, sent out invitation texts and cancelled plans, all to host an impromptu small family gathering of 30 people...Country Hospitality at it's best on the spur of the moment.
Folks!This is what life is supposed to be full of, and the Wife is loving it!

Dear Farmer and the Darkness

cue dark music....Dear Farmer doesn't do well with darkness.  He works much better in sunlight.  And as most all of his work is outside...sunlight would be quite helpful. End of dark music.
We all function so much better with sunlight, but here in the north it's rarely sunny in the wintertime.  Our days are most often filled with clouds.  Especially if the temperatures are warmer...then it's really cloudy!And usually it's raining as well.  The gloom is something Dear Farmer doesn't handle all together perfectly.  He doesn't like to be wet, or cold, or encased in gloom.  All three together are the recipe for a very un-enthusiastic Farmer.  Then he becomes like Eeyore, the donkey in Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne...a sad farmer, a whoa-is-me-farmer, a why-oh-why?-farmer.
All of this means several things in Dear Farmer's household.  First of all, no matter how much electricity costs, absolutely every light in the rooms where Dear Farmer will be must be on.  This includes closets as well.  He says it helps lift his spirits...the Wife cringes as the meter could be used for a ceiling fan on day like this.
Secondly, we will never be moving to Alaska(sorry, friends) or anywhere where there is a period of darkness for any amount of time.
 Lastly, this means that even with all the lights in the house on-Dear Farmer will still be a little gloomy as he does have to work outside. So the family tries to make his favorite foods for meals, tries to be kind-er to each other and not have loud rambunctious fussy children(HA!).
Even with all our attempts to help, the evening still rolls in at 4:30 p.m. And being a man who's life is dictated by the sunshine...darkness means it should be time for dinner and bed...even if it is only 4:30 p.m.  The other day, Dear Farmer came inside.  It was another raining day, gloomy, and cold.  He shed his "work duds" and turned to the kitchen where the Wife and Hausfrau Farmer's Daughter had already created dinner-complete with fresh homemade yeast rolls.  The table was set, the children were seated, and the family ate dinner.  Shortly after dinner, Dear Farmer retired to the living room to sit by the woodstove.  The children began to get a little loud and rowdy so Dear Farmer sent them all upstairs for bed.  When the Wife finished taking care of the dirty dishes, leftovers, and baby she saw that all the children were gone.  "Where are the children?" ,she asked Dear Farmer.
"Bed." was his short reply.
"But it's only 6:30 p.m.!!!", the Wife exclaimed.
"It's dark outside.", said Dear Farmer.
Surely all of the world has children that will gladly and quietly go to bed at 6:30 in the evening, but not Dear Farmer's.  However, once put in bed...they aren't getting out....it's the principle of the matter.  So, despite the children's dislike of an earlier than usual bedtime, it was still bedtime, and Dear Farmer retired to bed at 7p.m. .(The Wife still had stuff to do, so she did not.)
Thankfully, wintertime doesn't last all year.  Thankfully, the days will get longer next year, and we won't be living in a gloomy dark cave much longer.  Thankfully, Dear Farmer has taken to looking at the clock a little more frequently, and even though we hear "It's only 4:15 and already it's getting dark!" we know that Dear Farmer has at least checked the clock.
cue dark music...

Cows Go Take a Hike!

Due to Dear Farmer's excellent containment fencing-we haven't had cows get out in the road(also the front of the house) in a while.  No, instead they decided last night it would be nice to take a hike...ahem...in the back 40.  So, when Dear Farmer went out to do chores in the morning...he was missing about half his herd.
The call went out in the house for "all hands on deck!" and we sprung into action.
The Hausfrau Farmer's Daughter had to watch the house...clean up breakfast, make sure the walls didn't cave in.
The WhizBang!Farmer's Daughter had to watch children...dressed, chores getting done, and making sure they all stayed safe.
The Keeper of the Flame had to do his chores and take care of the animals at home.
Everyone else just had to obey the "biggers" in charge.
The Wife got all bundled to go out and help Dear Farmer.  The cows were back...Wa-a-ay back...out past the nearest neighbors and down almost to the next township.
Thankfully Dear Farmer's voice can carry pretty well on a crisp morning.  "Come On, Cows! Let's Go! Let's Go! Let's Go!" , he shouted as he clapped. The cows heard that call eighty acres away and 'bellered response. They were on the move, the hike had to be made back home.
While Dear Farmer was calling and clapping the Wife took the farm-dog out for a "training session". The farm-dog was all excited to get to move the cattle around!  Farm-dog helps, be we usually lock her up when it's important to have the cows go where we NEED them to...because she's just not that good yet.  But this time, she did okay.  At first she was really careful and listened really well to us-but then she got cocky and tuned us out.
 All-in-all the hike home went well....the cows are back in the pasture, the house is still standing, the chores were done, the animals were cared for.  Just the beginning of the day....

Pepper and the Pied Piper: Pack-Goat Training Day Four

"He won't obey!"
"Pepper isn't being a nice boy."
"Can I have a new goat?"

Pepper and the Pied Piper are well suited for eachother.  Both have a tendency to go their own way, both are thinking they are the only "right" ones, and both have an unending supply of stubbornness and energy.
Add to all that that both not liking eachother right now, and we have the perfect couple.

So, the Pied Piper has taken Pepper out on a walk every day.  Pepper, being a goat, now feels he is "owed" this walk-regardless of how he has behaved at any other time in the day.
The morning bucking and ramming, the nipping and nudging all aside, at two-o'clock, it's time for a walk!
The Pied Piper is just not understanding why Pepper gets his walk when he's not a being a good boy, doesn't that mean he should be disciplined?  The Wife is in the process of making the Pied Piper understand that it means they should go for more walks, so Pepper understands, he's being worked, not pampered.  The food doesn't come free around here, let alone cheap.
The Pied Piper has to go for a walk every day at two-o'clock.  It doesn't matter how whiny and fussy he is in the morning, or how precocious he's been in the afternoon.  And depending on the level of noise he's creating in the house, he's sent out on even more walks throughout the day.  The Wife is in the process of making the Pied Piper understand that certain behavior is not acceptable and energy should be expelled productively and outside.

Both boy and goat are working on character building, but neither of them know it.  Both boy and goat are building a relationship, and neither are appreciating it.  Both boy and goat are exhausted at night, and the Wife is loving it!

As We Prepare for the Onslaught of Company

It's the most wonderful time, of the year....

Dear Farmer's theme.  We've spoken of country hospitality(see May and July 2015) and Dear Farmer's LOVE of it.  This is the time of year when we get to really be hospitable...fling the doors open and have a steady stream of people!
Everything has to be done to prepare...bathrooms cleaned, bedrooms disinfected, floors mopped(and scrubbed, and mopped, and scrubbed).  Dusting, vacuuming, straightening, wiping, and organizing.  The house, we hope, will shine from top to bottom.  By the end of December, it will badly need it again...but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
We'll be making food...lots of food....lots and lots of food.  Breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks and desserts.  There is no other month that food is needed in quite this amount. Gluten-free, organic, dairy and egg-free..we've got you all covered.  Seasonal foods, kosher foods, fermented foods, and sinful foods-we're eating them all!  And then we plan on taking the New Year off of eating or cooking altogether.
And Dear Farmer will be grinning from ear to ear!  Happy as a cat in a chicken factory, he'll open the door and greet friends and family.  People we haven't seen since yesterday will be greeted as though we hadn't seen them for years.  People we haven't seen in years will be welcomed as though we saw them yesterday. The oldest and dearest friends will laugh at all Dear Farmer's jokes, even though they've heard them all before.  Cups of Hot Cider and seasonal music will indulge our senses.  Dear Farmer is looking forward to having you here...and when you get here, we'll be ready for you!

Dear Farmer Fights for Life

The Wife got called out to the hay barn early this morning by Dear Farmer, he had a calf down.  He simply said, "We've got to TRY!"
The Wife has learned to grow some thick skin-especially here on the farm.  She assessed the situation: a calf, alone, down in mud(because they always go to the worst location, never the best), having seizures.  There was truly no way to fix this.
However, Dear Farmer is in the business of Life.  Seems strange, as he raises cattle for your table, but he's genuinely in the business of raising, not killing...and for sure not letting "the least of these" die alone in the mud.
It took two hours.  The Wife and Dear Farmer setting up bedding and pen, hauling the calf(they weigh a lot!) from behind the barn in muck up to our knees to inside the barn-protected from the weather.  Then we cleaned the mud off the calf and warmed organic buttermilk and creame to spoon feed her.
The background of the story is, this calf had a mother who loved her and cared for her, but somehow the mother broke her foot and had to be sent to butcher.  The calf had done pretty well after that, while the herd was on grass, but since moving to the hay barn had set herself apart from the herd. Dear Farmer was watching her slip away...he was hoping it wouldn't get to this point.  He wanted her to THRIVE!  But it doesn't appear she will.
For now, she is comfortable and loved on.  Resting on a clean bed of hay in a warm barn.  Chickens happily laying on top of her and around her.  The dog coming in and licking her nose periodically.  The children spoon feeding her and petting her.
This is the hard part of organic farming: letting nature do it's thing and trying to have little involvement.  But when it comes to valuing every life-Dear Farmer is at the top of the list!  No matter how difficult, messy, or long...nothing gets left alone or behind.