The Repair from the Deer

Dear Farmer hit a deer.  The first deer he's EVER hit in his entire life...either as a passenger, or as a driver.
Unfortunately, he hit the deer with the van that we tow everything with.  Our first van.  Our "Love Bus"(as the children have known her).

Good news:
A 2000 Chevy Express that hits a deer will only sustain minor dents on the outside.
The parts to repair cost less than you think they might.
The parts to repair are almost all available at your local auto-supply store.

Bad news:
There are three parts that are most likely to be damaged in a "head on" hit with a deer...they are all necessary.
You have to order all your lenses for the turn signals directly from GM if you want new ones(cough, cough, sputter)
Dear Farmer is plenty busy and doesn't have time to fix a van right now!!!
We need that van to haul all the material we've been gathering on sale for our tiny houses!!!

So, Dear Farmer and the Nordic Ninja are outside, on a cold (35 F) night working by flood lights to repair the van. They have assembled all the pieces (they think), and though neither of them are mechanics...they are going for it! Dear Farmer turned into a pumpkin a half hour ago, and the Nordic Ninja worked a ten hour day with only one fifteen minute break, they are bone tired...and determined.

Moral of the Story: never hit a deer

Doorknobs and Broomsticks

Currently we own five brooms and three dustpans, inside the house.  Then there's the two outdoor brooms. No outdoor dustpans.  Of our five brooms one broomstick is broken at the perfect height for a three-foot tall person to sweep with (which we have one of) and another broomstick is broken at a perfect height for a four-foot tall person to sweep with (which we have one of, also).
Broomsticks and doorknobs are two things which our family uses everyday.  A lot.  Practically every time we turn around.  That is why when we purchase broomsticks and doorknobs we are very particular about quality and replacement costs.
Our front door has a doorknob on it that the previous owners did not care about either quality or replacement costs.  The door gets opened and closed at least four times every ten minutes.  The doorknob is now revolting against either use.  Sometimes it simply locks itself, as if to say to us "you crazy people! In OR out, it's not that difficult! That's it!  I'm done!"
I currently have all five brooms in use by someone somewhere on the premise. And the door is opening and sometimes shutting, but never latching.
This means one thing to me...they are all healthy!  Sick people can't run in and out every waking moment.  Sick people don't destroy doorknobs.  Sick people aren't sweeping inside and outside, and sometimes for fun.  Sick people do not use a broom so much that it bends and breaks.
What could be an annoyance, is...in my case...peace of mind.
Thank you, God, for a healthy and energetic family!
Thank you, God, for doorknobs and broomsticks!

Easy to be Distracted

It is the season that Dear Farmer and Family can be all too distracted.
There's chickens to be housed and cared for, buildings to build, the garden to plan and plant, goats hooves need to be trimmed, calf needs brushed, house needs little tweeks here and there, people to visit with, unending chores, fences to build, tractors to fix and clean, barns to clean, yard to cut....the list goes on and on....
With such a list, it's hard to "Stay On Task!"  {Perhaps that will be our theme this year...hmmmm....}
Priority given to things that must be done IMMEDIATELY!, like housing the little chicks.  And our missing 200...they came in yesterday...all 300 of them.  Someone at the chickery is having a good laugh, we think. The littlest chicks cannot fend for themselves, depending on us for their every need...
What else on the farm ranks in that same class? The smallest children.  Okay, both go on the highest priority.
Next on the list probably comes the rest of the animals, and medium size children.
And so on, and so forth...
But the list becomes hazy when the sun is shining and the birds are singing...and all Dear Farmer really wants to do is walk among the cows.  Sit in the shade and admire the beauty of creation.  Watch the children play Frisbee on a warm summer night.  These are both the reasons to keep plugging on through the work of today...and reasons to stay on task tomorrow.
Distractions can be the making of the memory...or the downfall of organization...
And so...we attempt to "Stay On Task!"
However, if you come to visit us, we'll happily be distracted!!!

Multi-tasking...

There are a lot of things Dear Farmer can do.
Multi-tasking, however, should not be one of them.
Dear Farmer has a habit of working in his head on a project, "listening" to the Wife talk, all while actually working on another project.
Surely I exaggerate, you say? No.  I am totally serious.
The fact that he does this, and does it on a very (all too) frequent basis, can fool most people into thinking that he can do it well.
The Wife concedes...usually he does do it well.
EXCEPT!  Except if it is late at night.  Late at night and driving.  Not a good combination.

Example: Dear Farmer and the Wife were out on a date.  Another "hot date" to the local farm-implement store and lumber yard.  While in these locations the Wife had opportunity to think on the present "tiny house" project we have going.  Think and think...and then release on Dear Farmer.  The conversation on the ride home was lively and funny and insightful.  And un-knowingly to the Wife...Dear Farmer was building the ideas into the plans of the "tiny house" in his head.  He was measuring lengths and angles while the Wife continued on the conversation about wash-tubs and clothes lines...
Then it happened.
As we were driving down the highway, approaching our turn-off to home...Dear Farmer didn't slow.  At all.
Not even a little. And the turn was coming up really fast!
The Wife did a little yelp ("turn.").  He didn't respond.
The Wife did a little more forceful yelp ("Turn!").  He blinked and looked around bewildered.
The Wife got all out bossy ("TURN, NOW!").
 Dear Farmer finally responded, "WHY? WHERE ARE WE?!"
"At the ROAD we LIVE DOWN!", the Wife elaborated in a rather forceful voice.
Dear Farmer yanked the steering wheel, stomped on the brake and turned (not a delicate movement by any means).
"What were you DOING?!", the Wife laid into Dear Farmer.
Sheepishly, Dear Farmer responded..."I was working on the tiny house, and driving home from Illinois on a Sunday night."
So we could either say that Dear Farmer was multi-tasking...or displaying signs of early-onslaught dimensia.  We'll go with the multi-tasking.
Dear Farmer, being his wonderful multi-tasking self, was figuring out the gutter system for the tiny houses, thinking about his upcoming commute to see us at the family garden on the Illinois farm and then returning to the Northern Farm on a Sunday evening, all while talking with the Wife on our drive home from our "hot date".
But late night, the worlds in his head, and in reality clashed...and he almost missed the turn to home.

Lots of laughter, lots of elbowing, and some good chuckles from the Farmer's Daughters, the Nordic Ninja, and the Wife.
We love our Dear Farmer...even while he's multi-tasking.

Hey! They clean up pretty well!

Permit me a proud moment of bragging...because I have good cause, not bad character...

This past weekend the Wife had the pleasure of working at the Farmer's Daughters' Prom.  The Wife had the joy of shopping for dresses with the Farmer's Daughter and the Haus Frau Farmer's Daughter.  We looked at hairstyles, accessories, shoes...lots and lots of shoes...we talked logistics of time-frames and conversations with people-we-really-like versus other-people.  It was a pleasure to spend a month of planning and seeing the results of age, maturity, and life-experience.  We had a great time.  Then came the moment of truth...the Wife left the Farmer's Daughters with the beautician and went to the Prom location for set up and preparation.  Having already been briefed by the Haus Frau Farmer's Daughter on good photography-know-how(the Wife was the photographer #2 for the event)...the Wife was off and running!
It was between the pictures of the appetizer table and drink fountain table that the Wife was able to see the most beautiful girls in the event walk through the door.  The Farmer's Daughters, with their BFFs(who are also farm-girls) walked in like Greek Goddesses(a look I think they were pleased to have attained).  They floated on clouds, laughed liked music, and conversed with ease...making all in their presence feel like royalty. And all the Wife could think was, "They clean up pretty well!"
See, covered in the muck and damp from the rain.  In the middle of feeding a bottle to a calf, or hay to a horse, a farm-girl is pretty impressive.  It wasn't a charade for an evening.  They weren't playing a part.  They really are these beautiful Goddess looking ladies on a day-to-day basis, just cleaned up for the "Ball". They are beautiful on the inside as they muck stalls, wipe off grime and bend down to clean gooky-noses all out of love. Daily they are disheveled and dirty with no make up on...But when that farm-girl can get cleaned up and walk with the best-of-them(in high stiletto heels) in a situation so opposite from her day-to-day...THAT'S pretty impressive.

The Wife's Log: April 14, 2016

The day started like any other day. The Pied Piper was sent outside to milk the goat, he returned in the house fifteen minutes later whining that the goat was not cooperating.
The Farmer's Daughter had to leave for work, but went down to milk the goat for the brother instead.
Meanwhile, the Haus Frau Farmer's Daughter (who just had a birthday) madly was doing her own chores so she could go and enjoy her new kayak on the pond.
The Wife drove the Farmer's Daughter to work and sent the Farm-boy Trio out to help Dear Farmer finish preparations for the incoming 1000 chicks this morning.
The Haus Frau Farmer's Daughter finished her work and pleaded to go kayaking on the pond. She took with her the Pied Piper.  The Keeper of the Flame and WhizBang! were anxiously anticipating the soon-to-be chick delivery. It is always amazing how the Wife can find jobs for waiting people to do...they began a job and disappeared "under the radar"(which means the Wife doesn't see them again)...
Left alone in the house with the smallest Farmer's Daughters, the Wife tried desperately to get dressed and clean the kitchen from the onslaught of breakfast.  With three "helpers"...it was going slowly.
In walked the Farmer's Shadow, who had a cold for the past few days and couldn't manage to get up and collect eggs.  He had been feeling well enough to make a dime, and brought in three dozen eggs that he found. He began sorting through the hay in the egg basket for the eggs in the middle of the kitchen floor. Hay all over one's kitchen floor, does not make a cleaning process go faster or smoother.
While changing a diaper and giving orders to the egg sorter a faint "Mother? Mother?" is heard above the roar of life.  The Haus Frau Farmer's Daughter was back with the Pied Piper--both wet.  Apparently all of kayaking is fun, except for the part when the electronic device slides out of the back pocket and lands in the murky bottom of the farm-pond. Tears were shed over the device that she was sure kept her world revolving...but lesson learned:  Don't go kayaking with anything in your pockets.
During the tears, and before the laughter, the chicks came in. Out went the Keeper of the Flame and the WhizBang!Farmer's Daughter to settle them down in brooding houses with Dear Farmer.
Into the house whooshed the Farmer's Daughter with a friend for a lesson on the attachment of fake eyelashes.  Upstairs echoed giggling and laughter. Downstairs we were preparing for a (hopefully) early lunch. With four helpers making lunch, snitching ingredients, and generally causing chaos lunch did happen.  All were called with a whistle.
Downstairs whooshed the Farmer's Daughter with friend to the next appointment.
In came Dear Farmer...the 1000 chicks were short...by 800???  On the phone went Dear Farmer to find out where 800 chicks are peeping currently.  In came the children to snarf down food, all are excited about being next to try out the kayak.  The Youngest Farmer's Daughter Trio is just too small to kayak.  Great tragedy's of life are often solved by popcorn and a movie about a dancing British mouse.  Which works once again today!
Clean up in the kitchen goes much faster without help.
The Pepper Goat was arguing with the Garlic Goat, and the Garlic Goat snapped the Pepper Goat's neck. Tears shed over the loss of a pack-goat, but quickly recovered with another ride on a kayak.
The Nordic Ninja is over to replace headlights and tail-lights with Dear Farmer. The Farmer's Daughter whooshes back home to change into work clothes and whooshes out again to evening work.
No one can find the 800 missing chicks currently, they are somewhere in the USPS(where I am sure someone is going mad listening to unrelenting peeping). Dear Farmer is working to build and wire infastructure, while at the same time keeping the phone nearby in case he hears word of the chicks.
And now, onto those dinner preparations...at 6pm the whole family will be at the table, there will be laughter of the fun, remembering the losses, and encouragement that we can all do this again tomorrow.
This is an amazing world we live in!

The Careful Planning of a Tiny House...or...The Size of My Shoe

Dear Farmer promised to build the Wife a tiny house in lieu of tent camping this year out at the garden.  The Wife has always loved tiny houses, we first started in one(see article: The Movement We Never Abandoned 2/23/2016 ) and the thought of being able to go back into one is a dream come to reality.
But exactly how to build a tiny house for a family of...ahem...thirteen?
Start by checking out the regulations for building a tiny house on wheels.  For a family of thirteen to live in the tiny house for an entire summer and fall...that size is SO not happening. He would need to build three tiny houses...but as we do not have three trailers, three vehicles to pull trailers, or three drivers. We quickly eliminate the wheels and trailer.
Now we are looking at building tiny house on skids.  This way house can be moved from location to location on site which makes the house an option for more uses.  If no one is residing in it, the house can become a storage shed, a studio, or even a chicken coop.
The tiny house will have two doors, two windows(actual double hung windows) and sleeping spots enough for thirteen.

But what happens to all the stuff you need?
Let's talk needs:
Food
Water
Clothing
Shelter

Those are all our basic human needs. Past that it's all luxuries.

The Wife has every intention of giving each child the luxury of electricity, internet, plumbing, fans, heat, and a small space for individual trinkets/toys.
Clothing will be kept in a mobile trailer that we will need to power-wash to get the stink of animals out of(the goats had lived there for a time) and Dear Farmer has plans to make it into a "family closet".
So far as washing those clothes go...a Laundromat isn't so bad, and if the Wife gets desperate to have her arms get a good workout, there's the clothing plunger and wringer secured on a tub.  Old Fashioned has a time and a place.
Now Dear Farmer is in the process of drawing up the plan for the tiny house for the Wife.  He estimates the size to be 10 x 20.
I guess for the summer the Wife will be the "...little old lady who lived in a shoe, she had so many children she didn't know what to do...".  Perhaps, like the Gilbreth Family (Cheaper by the Dozen by Frank and Ernistine Gilbreth) we will have to name the tiny house "THE SHOE".

Dear Farmer Gets Comfy

When the day is done, and the work is at a point where Dear Farmer can sleep(because work is never actually done), Dear Farmer comes inside the house all excited.
The woodstove is still blazing, the weather outside is muddy and wet and cold (spring in the North! Yippee.), and Dear Farmer begins the process of getting comfy.
Aching joints and sore muscles get oiled. Bumps, bruises and nicks are identified and patched up. And then he sits down in front of the stove.
Off come the wet socks to be hung behind the stove, wool is a wonderful material!  It's kept his feet warm and dry all day!
Off comes the crocheted hat from the Farmer's Daughter (also wet), to be hung to dry.  He loves this hat! It's his favorite!
Off comes the flannel button down shirt. It's also dripping wet.  We make sure we take everything out of the pockets...the pens, the notebook, the index cards(his field and herd logs), and the immense amount of hay. Into the laundry it goes. He's now down to his T-shirt.  He goes and changes this for a dry and clean one for the rest of the evening.
And finally the pants come off. No, this is not a strip-tease!  The pants are covered in muck and mud, poop and hay, and don't forget the occasional egg that he's sat on accidentally while working on the chicken coop.
(Seriously, would you want your husband sitting around the house in these pants???)
To put everyone's mind at ease...he's wearing polar fleece PJ pants under his work pants, so he's not in his undies! So, the pants go into the wash as well.
And now, Dear Farmer is officially comfy.
With all the work clothes off, the house shoes on, lounging in a T-shirt and PJ pants...he's ready for some good conversation and coffee.
Sounds like it's time for some Country Hospitality!!!

Do What You're Supposed to Do...you won't have time for the "don't"s

Here's a thought...if you do all of what you are supposed to DO, then you won't have time to DO any of the "DON'T"s.

In the farmlife it looks like this:
DO your chores
DO your responsibilities
DO love eachother
DO take care of the animals
DO take care of the land
DO be respectful of others(even city-people who don't know what a farm is)

there's no down-time from doing the "DO"s.

This is simple.
So why do we all make this so hard?

Just a Thank You! On Our Blog's Anniversary!

Thank you for laughing at us, with us, and for us.
Thank you to our readers...in the United States, Poland, the Ukraine, Germany, Canada, Japan and Puerto Rico.  We don't know most of you, but it's so exciting to see that you keep getting to know us better. 
We hope that you get the opportunity to see that farmers are just people, families aren't perfection, and love abounds.

Thank you to our family who has graciously been added into our posts-thank you to our family who has yet to be added into our posts(your time is coming).  Your support keeps us going on the days we don't want to...
Thank you to the Almighty Creator of Heaven and Earth, Soli Deo Gloria!
Shalom!  Dear Farmer, The Wife, and family

This Farm has Princesses

The Bucket, the middle-younger Farmer's Daughter, loves to DO just about anything...as long as it works into the current play...
"Mama, you be the Princess Mama, and I am the Princess Mermaid.  What are we doing Mama?"
Usually the Princess Mermaid's Mama responds, "Unloading the dishwasher." After that job, there's plenty more!  Anything can be done singing and laughing as long as we are Princess Mama and Princess Mermaid.
Chicken Dinner, the youngest-younger Farmer's Daughter, tags along with the Bucket.  She tries desperately to be a princess, but past looking cute is yet mastering anything else. Apparently her primary job in the house is to "seek and destroy".
The Bucket tries to wrangle and teach, but Chicken Dinner is young enough to not care about her sister's direction and will march off in her own tornado.
Over-seeing the entirety of the Princess Population is the Oldest of the Youngest Farmer's Daughters...Me-Oh-My!  She is the one that has to be the boss over everything, even if she doesn't know what's going on...she is the oldest of them!  And having the three bigger Farmer's Daughters always bossing Me-Oh-My! around, she knows how it should be done:

"No, no, Bucket, Princesses do it this way!"
"No, no, 'Ninner Dinner!!! Don't Touch that!!!"
"NOOOO!  We will play this or NOTHING!"

Me-Oh-My! Can be ruthless...


Before I had three Younger Farmer's Daughters, I had no idea Princesses could herd goats, use chickens as confetti that they throw to imaginary admirers, or dance through cow-pies in high-heeled play shoes.  I never foresaw a princess dress riding on a tractor, or a tiara-clad little girl dunking chick-heads.
All of this must prove that Princesses really can be everywhere, and do everything. Even farming.

The Hunt is On!

Now that the snow is gone, and warm days have begun, the chickens are re-establishing their egg laying spots and routines.
This means...not all the chickens are laying eggs inside the coop.  Some of those chickens, the renegades, are laying in the barn, on the hay, in the window wells, in the tiger-lilies, and on my front stoop.
The eggs on my front stoop aren't hard to find.  It's all the other eggs.
So, who's job was it last year to find eggs?
Well, we aren't really sure who was assigned to do it, and who actually did it every day...so we needed to make sure that this job was covered.  We needed someone who wouldn't get distracted, someone who would be thorough, someone who would be careful with the eggs(not to bring up a dozen cracked ones)...the choice person was the Wife.  She's just too busy.
We chose the Farmer's Shadow.  He's great at the job!
Everyday is an exciting adventure to find as many eggs as he can!  AND he gets paid for each (uncracked) egg that he brings in!
So the hunt is on!!!