Culling : to select from a group

The summer is drawing to a close, much as anyone here hates to admit it.  And with the end of summer begins one huge process...culling the herd. Thankfully, in families, we don't often look at the children and think,"Okay, which of you has to go?"...well, maybe sometimes...However, when we look at it from the farming standpoint, we are looking at (brutal honesty) finances and food.  What can we afford over winter, and what do we need to survive.
Occasionally there's the animal that has a personality we just can't part with (check out Intellectual Agrarian about Chickens), but on the general whole, we are pretty balanced in deciding who will stay and who will go.
To make the fun even fun-er, there's also the task of finding another home for the ones we can't bring ourselves to eat, or finding a butcher for the ones we can't wait to eat.
Did you know that poultry processors don't usually process waterfowl?  This means, if you go duck hunting...first find a butcher to take your dead ducks to, or do it yourself.
The Wife had purchased the ducks in hopes for duck eggs for the children allergic to chicken eggs...and it just makes sense that out of the five ducks she purchased from the local farm store-only one of them is female, and refuses to lay an egg with four males constantly at her side. Really, it's okay because we will eat duck.  The Farmer's Daughter, however, isn't going to be around for butchering.  Which leaves the butchering to the HausFrau and DIY Farmer's Daughters. You aren't missing it, they aren't jumping for joy.
Looking at the large animal livestock...culling is always harder.  First there is more than a dozen weeks involved in raising them. Secondly, there is the shear size of the animal.  We have goats and cow that have big brown knowing eyes.  We have a hard time looking into those eyes and thinking that those will be the tacos of tomorrow.  Often we just re-home in exchange for goods or services.  And, it's easy to say, "Let's butcher a six pound bird." Much harder to say, "Let's butcher a 300lb cow."
Regardless of how it happens, this season of culling has to happen.  Three acres simply cannot sustain a large livestock community.
And so, we begin the process of culling the herd.

Dear Farmer's Morning Call

It is slightly unusual that Dear Farmer will call from the barn.
If we get a phone call, it's usually not good.
"I need help!" is most often the message.
So when the phone rang this morning, the Wife shouted-"It's Pop!"-before she even answered.  Children began scurrying and searching for shoes.  The house was in general chaos.

On the other end, this is what we heard:
"There is the cutest baby goat down here!  He's about four hours old."

A hip-hooray from the children went the cheer, and out the door they flew!
Babies are the chocolate of the job, with whipping creame and a cherry on top!  Baby Goats are nearly the most adorable thing we have ever seen.  They even rank higher than baby ducks(which are pretty darned cute as well).
And so, the children rushed down to say "good morning" to our newest member of the farm family...Peppercorn.  And a hearty congrats to his mom, Cumin.

We don't mind these phone calls from the barn ONE BIT!

I Bought My Love a Flock of Chickens and Ducks

So, you may have gotten the idea that around here gift giving is pretty practical.

Examples:
Birthday - Dear Farmer built a bed for the Wife
Anniversary - Dear Farmer and Wife give eachother goats
Birthday - The Wife gives Dear Farmer fence supplies
Christmas - The Parents give the children "bus tubs" for cleaning the dining room/kitchen

Yeah...it looks pretty bare bones around here....
ANYHOW... for Dear Farmer's upcoming birthday (June) this year, the Wife told him she'd like to buy him a flock of chickens and ducks.  The Wife has to give Dear Farmer this gift now, because he has to place his order to the hatchery so that the flock can be delivered by mid-spring...and then be able to be enjoyed by June.
The Wife told Dear Farmer he could choose what-ever he wanted...like a kid in a candy story, Dear Farmer's eyes widened and he started jumping up and down!  His very own flock!
He has been working hard pouring over the hatchery catalog, researching and pricing.  He's still undecided on everything he wants...but he's pretty set on laying chickens and a "straight run" of ducks.  (A "straight run" means that the hatchery just sends you little guys without looking for male or female parts.)
We've learned that ducks do a great job eating ticks, so the more ducks we have, the less ticks we have. Dear Farmer's theory is "Let those boys feast all year, and then we'll eat them!"
For the laying chickens Dear Farmer wants just female...obviously, THOSE are the ones that lay eggs...but a colorful flock, and no broody hens.
He's having fun with his birthday gift preparations...and the Wife is looking forward to all those eggs!
What other Wife can say, "I bought my love a flock of various foul for his birthday!"???
Anyone else?

The Ducks Cross the Road...again!

There is a road that divides the farm, it makes life...interesting....
When mid-July hit, and the rains stopped, the ducks went in search of a quieter and more moist home.  It involved stopping traffic one last time and vanishing to wetter pastures.  The ducks left, and for the past four weeks we were sure they were never coming back.  But we got a phone call from a neighbor down the road a few days ago,"Are your ducks missing?"  We answered that they were gone from here. "Well", he said,"I think they've been here in my pond for the past month.  They'll be coming back home soon, the pond is nearly dried up."  And sure enough, that night, we saw traffic stopped on the road in the middle of the evening rush.  It was the ducks.  They were crossing the road and coming home.  They've grown quite a bit in four weeks.  They look a little leaner, a little taller.  (They haven't been here eating the feed!) Maybe they look a little more mature since they left home...maybe I'm reading too much into this...regardless, the ducks are back.
Since they are now back among us, we've made their lives interesting again...the Pied Piper of the Farm-boy Trio has hugged them and carried them around.  He's given them rides on the goat, and offered them wild plums and sauced apple peels.  They've played tag with the dog, and moved back into the barnyard.
I wonder how long they'll stay now that it's started to rain again.  Maybe the neighbor's pond will once again call them to cross the road, or perhaps they'll stay the winter? Stay tuned.

"Salt" the Duck/the Duck that was once "Salt"

It's a sad little tale about a duck, named "Salt".  He was a Peking Drake and the leader of the duck pack, until the day the predator arrived.  The predator, an unknown and vicious beast, attacked at night.  It ate "Pepper" the Swedish Runner Drake and a Mallard Drake, but before it could take off with "Salt" the dog chased the predator away.  "Salt", however, was injured. After a week, he still had a lame leg, and the other Mallard Drakes were beating him up(he was easy prey).  The Wife asked the Farmer's Daughter to do the job...to butcher him.  Before the other drakes kill him, best we eat him.  The Farmer's Daughter was just fine with this, it had been in her mind as well.  She picked up "Salt" and took him down to the barn.  While she was down there draining the blood, the Wife set up a butcher table on the outside patio.  We don't de-feather ducks, we just skin them. So, all that was required was a table and some sharp knives.  A few minutes later the Farmer's Daughter came up to the patio swinging the limp white duck.  The Pied Piper of the Farm-boy Trio saw this and began to sing his song, "Salt's dead, the Farmer's Daughter is a murderer!" The other young children chimed in...there were tears and moans, white feather's flying everywhere, and wails of young children.  Finally, the young children were settled down, the Pied Piper spoken to about EVER starting a revolt like that again, and the healing began. "Let's write down in our journal what we did today.", said the Wife.  The children wrote the following:

We loved "Salt" the Duck.
He is dead.
We will eat him with sauce.

It would be worth the notation, that the young children never paid attention to "Salt".  More than anything the big Peking Drake was mean and they stayed away from him.  But when one Pied Piper in the group can rally anyone to follow him, they will chant and follow almost any cause.  Also worth notation, farming is about sustainability.  We raise animals and eat animals, this is a way of life.  There are no emotional scars.
The Duck that was once "Salt" is in the freezer.  Honorable Son No.1 plans to be here for dinner when we serve him, it's one of our favorite meals.

Why did the duck cross the road?

The farm here is divided by a road.  Not just any road, a commuter road.  It makes life interesting.

You know the joke.  The answer around here, however, is very different...
We have ducks.  We have had ducks.  We used to have more ducks, but now we have fewer ducks.  This road, between our fields, is like the ducks' source of entertainment.  Particularly in the morning, during the "rush" time.
In the morning, the ducks waddle out in a line, down over the field, through the creek, up the yard, past the wooden fence and to..the road.  Why does the duck cross the road?  The duck doesn't cross the road.  The duck waddles onto the road, and looks back to his buddies.  He quacks to the buddies. The buddies all waddle up to the road.  They all stand in a line stretching across the road.  Now traffic in both directions is stopped. Car honks, duck quacks.  (We have come to the conclusion that the ducks think the cars are "talking" to them when they honk.) Cars honk, ducks quack.  Finally one frustrated driver edges around ducks and into the gravel (slowly) on the right side of the road, other cars follow, they are on their way again.  The ducks find themselves alone in the middle of the road.  The ducks waddle to the other side of the road.  Nothing more to see there.  Repeat this scenario in the afternoon "rush".
What are you going to do about it?  There really isn't anything we can do about it.  We can't find where the ducks sleep to "lock them up" at night.  They are all drakes(male) so it's not like they are profitable on the farm...though they do eat ticks...All we can really do is watch them waddle and apologize to the cars on the road.  If you pass by our farm...go a little slower and see if you can figure out the real answer to the joke.